Archive for April, 2007
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April 09th, 2007 | Category: videoKeep ‘em Out!!!!
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April 09th, 2007 | Category: random196
7 commentsBad Dating Videos
April 07th, 2007 | Category: video“I am sick of playing the field and I don’t need to date anything that moves… (into the camera) I’m sick of playing the field and I don’t need to date anything that moves…”
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1 comment10 mistakes in the sack(Part 1)
April 06th, 2007 | Category: randomI found this list of what I like to refer to as “The lesbian guide to hetero-sex”, so I thought I would share them. This is 1 of a 4 part series. My patented comments are in bold. Of course I will try to be as offensive and as sexist as possible. Enjoy!
1) NOT KISSING FIRST.
Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you’re paying by the hour and trying to get your money’s worth by cutting out nonessentials. A proper passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay. What’s this new form of erotic four player game you speak of?
2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR.
Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there’s a difference between being erotic and blowing as if you’re trying to extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts. I couldn’t agree more. In case you girls didn’t know, all of us men are only concerned with 1 kind of blowing anyway.
3) NOT SHAVING.
You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which your rake repeatedly across your partner’s face and thighs. When she turns her head from side to side, it’s not passion, it’s avoidance. Ladies, you should have a little compassion, our faces are sensitive and sometimes we need a break (right dave? oh wait… nm). Cut us some slack and we all know how excited you get when you see more five o’clock shadow than a room full of Roberto Luongo and Don Johnson. Grin and bear it.
4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST.
Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them. Same thing with the two melons between our legs.
5) BITING HER NIPPLES.
Why do men fasten onto a woman’s nipples, then clamp down like they’re trying to deflate her body via her breasts? Nipples are highly sensitive. They can’t stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your tongue across them is good. Pretending they’re a dogie toy, isn’t. 4 words: Don’t Drag Your Teeth.
6) TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES.
Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples between finger and thumb like you’re trying to find a radio station in a hilly area. Focus on the whole breasts, not just the exclamation points. If you are so concerned.. did you say something about breasts????
7) IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY.
A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs: Breastville East and West, and the Midtown Tunnel. There are vast areas of her body which you’ve ignored far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown Vagina. So start paying them some attention. Since you have probably already read the 1 paragraph on what a man really wants, we don’t have to tell you much. On the other hand, your 5,148 page manuscript is still collecting dust. Give us a little hint once in a while; A moan, a squeak.
8) GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED.
Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can result in tangled fingers and underpants. If you’re going to be that aggressive, just ask her to take the damn things off. Do you ever hear us complaining when you lose your concentration and can’t keep a steady rhythm? No, we just take matters into “OUR OWN HANDS” and get the job done. This is not a one sided thing all you wonderful women out there..
9) LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT.
Condom disposal is the man’s responsibility. You wore it, you store it. I have no words for these rude and inappropriate comments.
10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS.
Direct pressure is very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers along side of the clitoris. Direct pressure from not being in the mood causes swelling and can also be unpleasant. Please try not to be so selfish as well.
Super Mario Brothers Song
April 04th, 2007 | Category: video games, videoKoji Kondo, the original composer of the theme from Super Mario Bros., plays the tune on piano. I think he could have been the inspiration for the Goomba character too. FSU. Goomboff
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